Deaths Vacation
by Old Fiat
Summary: {i.e: Botan in the tropics} {i.e: not doing her job} {i.e: as the grim reaper} {i.e: she's the grim reaper}


**Deaths Vacation**

**i.e: Botan in the tropics**

**i.e: not doing her job**

**i.e: as the grim reaper**

**i.e: she's the grim reaper**

**by Old Fiat**

Prologue:

"Come on Koenma! I need a vacation!" Yelled Botan over the prince's imaculately polished desk.

"For the last time no! You are death. You can't take a vacation." Koenma looked at Botan. "You never know when somebody might die."

"You're very cute in your teenage form but I want a vacation!" Botan screamed. "I'm tired of taking people to the next world… it's depressing, people can wait to die!"

"Fine! You can have a vacation!" Koenma yelled back at her. "Just sign this form."

"I don't want a replacement, I said PEOPLE CAN WAIT TO DIE!" Botan ripped up the form.

"I guess I'll just put death on hold then!" Koenma sneered.

"Good! Bye!" Botan walked out of the office.

"No! Wait! I was being sarcastic!" shouted Koenma after her, but she had already left. "I hate everyone."

Chapter One: Let's just blow the whole building up then!

Hiei was standing on the top of the building, watching the cars. It was so peaceful up there. Except for those BIRDS! They'd land on him and poop on him! Curse you birds!

He saw two people setting up something in the street.

"Probably some children," Hiei said to one of the cursed birds. "Setting up one of those lemonada stands. I like limonade."

The bird told him to shut up.

Hiei killed the bird with his deadly pocket knife, it has a spork in it too! How delightfully strange! What will these humans think of next?

Moving on…

Hiei took out his telescope to look at the Lemonade stand people. It looked like it had TNT written on the side. I hate ironic children.

Moving on…

"What the-

The building blew up. Boom. All gone.

"Oh my God is he dead?" said Kurama, poking Hiei's limp form with a stick.

"Get that stick out of my ER!" said the doctor, pushing Kurama out.

"Shut up! We want to watch!" said Yusuke, taking the stick from Kurama and poking the doctor.

"Okay Okay! You can keep the stick! Just don't poke me! Or the patient." said doc.

"You mean the midget?" said Kuwabara, taking out a spork how delight- moving on… and poking Hiei with it.

"I… hate… you…" breathed Hiei.

"If you die now Hiei, I'll write that on your epitath!" said Kurama, taking out a notepad and pencil putting the stick behind his ear for safe keeping.

"C… Cuel… I mean, cool," breathed Hiei.

"Now he can't write it on you grave, those aren't your last words now," Yusuke said, taking out a log and poking Hiei with it.

"He… can, and… he… will," Hiei went limp.

"OH HIEI!" Yelled Kurama at the doctor.

"What?" said the doctor.

"IT WASN'T FAIR FOR HIM TO DIE SO YOUNG!" Shouted Kurama at Yusuke, who backed against the way and raised one eyebrow.

"He wasn't young," said Kuwabara. "He was a nasty old man."

"Well," sniffed Kurama. "He didn't look his age."

"Hey!" shouted Yukina. "There's still a pulse!"

"What?" said Kurama, with a look on his face that seemed like he was mad at Hiei for not dieing when told to.

"I think," said the Doc. "He's, in a coma."

"Well, that's just wonderful!" shouted Kuwabara. "I would've worn a suit to his funeral, but if he pulls another stunt like this I'm going to wear sweats."

"Don't you dare!" shouted Kurama. "Sweats are so… nineties."

The doctor suddenly froze and Koenma popped in.

"If you keep doing that you're going to brake my watch," said Kurama, shaking his swatch to hear the lack of ticking.

"Thank's for buying us all this swiss stuff Koenma, in that knife you gave me there's a spork! Isn't that delightfully strange!" said Kuwabara.

"Ooooh! A spork! I love those!" shouted Koenma. "oh, wait, I'm here for a different reason than to talk about how sporks are building blocks in human sociaty."

"They've done so much for us!" sniffed Yusuke. "I'd hate to lose them!"

"Yes… if we lost sporks… all humans would- NOO! I'm here to tell you that Botan is on vacation.. death's not going to happen while she's gone." said Koenma.

"That means that," Kurama shook his hair back. "That Hiei's still alive?"

"Yes, he should've been dead… ten minutes ago."

"Could you ask Botan to hurry up and come home," said Kuwabara. "I really want this guy to die."

"What?" shouted Kurama, taking Kuwabara's spork and poking him with it.

"Ow! Stop it!" yelled Kuwabara, waving his arms around.

"I just thought that you should know that," said Koenma.

"Rad," said Yusuke. "No death for a week, how hard can that be?"

"Actually," Corrected Koenma. "It's a month."

"Bloody Hell!" shouted Yusuke.

Chapter Two: I heart Hawaii.

"Cool teeshirt!" said Botan, picking up a shirt that said: 'yes, I got this shirt in hawaii'. "How cool!"

"You know that nobody _buys_ that shirt," said the shopkeep, lifting his eyebrows he can do it w/o hands!. "How about you buy a nice 'I heart Hawaii' teeshirt, eh?"

"I like to be original," said Botan, grabbing her stupido shirt. She actually bought it. Did you know Botan flew continental airlines? I don't like them very much. She has a lunchbox… and in that lunchbox is…. drumrole please!… a…. SPORK! One of the great building blocks of human sociaty. the 'Spork' is a combonation of the spoon and the fork… it works like magic!

Anyway…

Hiei's limp body twitched.

"Is he awake?" shouted Kurama to one of the nurses.

"No," she said nervously. "Let go of me sir!"

"Don't worry," said Kurama, releasing the young lass. "I'm engaged."

"Yooou are ennngaged?" Yusuke raised one eyebrow he can do it w/o shutting one eye!. "I feel sorry for it."

"Hey!" shouted Kurama at Yusuke. "Whaddaya mean 'it'?"

"I wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl," Yusuke shut his eyes in a self satisfied manner. "You are pretty metrosexual Kurama, if you are straight."

"Hey! I am straight! **She**'s very pretty," Kurama blushed.

"I think you're lying," said Kuwabara. "I'm sure it's some Italian football player."

"No, here, I'll show you a picture of her!" Kurama opened up his money stuffed wallet. He took out a picture of Genkai.

"Ewww!" shouted everyone in the room. "You're engaged to that old hag!"

"Ooops!" squealed Kurama, stuffing the picture back in the wallet. "Wrong picture." He took out a different picture of some model.

"Ooooh," said, pretty much everyone except "iheiay", who, because of his comatose state, is unable to use a spork, poor poor Hiei.

"She's hot," said Kuwabara, taking the picture and sniffing it. "It smells like honey."

"Yes, well," said Kurama, taking the picture back. "Yesterday I was making some-

"Hello," Genkai entered the room, wearing a black tux. "I've come to see the corpse, I've heard that it's viewing week?"

"He's not dead yet!" shouted Kurama at the short weird woman.

"Yes but he will be soon, so, I brought this **long pause** flower? I believe that's what they're called."

"Take off that black tux," Kurama said authoritatively.

"I'm not going to strip in front of you morons," said Genkai, sneering at Kurama. "I know you'd love to see my beautiful figure Shuichi but it's not going to happen!"

"She actually does have quite a lovely figure," said Kurama. "I just thought I'd give this to you." Kurama handed Genkai a dress. "You always show up on viewing week and you shouldn't be sad, Hiei isn't dead yet, there's still hope."

"I thought I'd give you this," Kuwabara gave Genkai a swiss army knife. "It has a spork!"

"Oh my God! A spork! That is so cool! That is so delightfully strange!" shouted Genkai, grabbing the knife.

"Moving on," said Kurama.

Yusuke handed Genkai a bikini. "I wanna see you in it so bad." said Yusuke laughing.

"I think I'm going to change into the dress thank you professional idiot." Genkai picked up the dress.

"Ooh!" said Kurama loudly. "I better go change into my sailor suit so that we can match!" He ran out of the room.

"This doesn't sound good," said Genkai, watching Kurama skip away.


End file.
